Waiting on God.

What more can you do when you are ill and in bed? It's easy to get angry, and wonder what God's plan is. It's hard to trust because we feel helpless, and almost abandoned.

This week, has been a struggle, I have been in bed for 2 days in extrodanary amounts of pain and not knowing what to do with myself other than pop pills at the relevant times, and just rest.

The days felt long, and frustrating. I felt God was distant and I felt, myself get more angry as time went on.

The second day, I was lying in bed. I gave up being angry, I felt that it was only putting up my blood pressure and probably making my situation worse. So. I gave up and I asked God what was He doing, and tried to get into praying about some situations that were on my mind.

As, I layed there, and prayed, and wondered, and I felt, that I needed to wait more on God. Not 'force' situations, and not to push open doors that were locked.

Waiting on God, in times of sickness, is a challenge. Because we are in pain, and we want things done straight away, it's not pleasant to go through.

I thought about fruits of the spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, faithfulness, goodness, kindess, gentleness and self control. I know I certainly only have a small amount of control over my illness, popping pills at the right time and resting. However, if I wait on God more and I practise the above words, I might find, that times of stress and illness will be easier.

To be kind to myself, instead of being angry is important. To be kind to God and trust in His faithfulness is another point I felt him making, because He gives us good things.

To be patient in trial, and know good will happen in the end. To find joy and peace in the Lord, and know HE loves me regardless of my situation.

So many things, I have had to think about and take note of, yet will, I remember this in my next test or trial. My challenge to myself is, to change. To be aware of the positives, and that all things work out for good to those who LOVE him.